1.1.26 11:30PM
This is going to be a rush and a punt because I don’t want to skip 2 days of journaling. Yesterday was alright and I had a pretty good time with New Years. Drank a tiny bit, watched Coraline with the household. We tried to watch Pottersville but it kinda sucked enough that nobody was into it and we stopped. I might try again, not sure. Coraline is basically House of Leaves for kids, so that was fun.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeEH21NYJMU
I’ve mostly been working on throwing out trash and organizing. It’s been a lot of work and I feel like everyone in the house is pretty depressed and not doing a lot, but I get it. This time of year is weird. I’ve been acting as a quartermaster and trying to keep everyone going and somewhat productive. Ended up having a rumble about a housekeeping issue that really bugs me with everyone in a household meeting.
I’m pulling things out of the truck that I used to haul everything that was left in the old house up here recently. Starting to get towards the 3D printers I’m wanting to pull out and set up.
My new year’s resolution is to move on and forward. I’m trying to go through all the old junk that my former lives have gifted me with and either tie up loose ends by shipping things to the people who might want them or throw them out. I’m tired of living as a caretaker for the past and I’m tired of this prolonged grief. I’m open to making new friends, but I’m also going to the a stance that making art and finding a path forward after co-dependence is my main priority. I’m starting to accept that as I age loneliness is inevitable and to chase relief from that is what has hurt me over the years. Maybe the lessons were the friends we lost along the way. I’ve lost so many that it’s hard to want to make more because I’m tired of the cycle. Occasionally I’ll have a rando get really excited about me and try to start talking, but I’m such a picky bitch when it comes to people, especially new people because I’m weary and jaded.
Here’s a different black cat than the one I’ve been posting. He’s old, fat, and really sweet.
This is one I took as I was first getting used to using the old manual lens with my camera, but it always pops up when I unload pictures and I find it interesting in a liminal sort of way.
